The True Story of Harry James Potter
by hpcultleader
Summary: PG13 is probably a stretch. Transexuality, plastic surgery, all that fun stuff in this parody. James and Lily wanted a girl, but instead they got Harry. What really happened? And does silicone really deflect curses?
1. It's a girl!

**The Real Story of Harry James Potter**

By: Amber w/ credit to my sister Lindsey

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, though I do own this twisted plot.

Author's Note: Again, written by HPCultLeader, might end up posted under Ptrst. And HPCultLeader would like it to be known that she realizes that she will probably be sent to Potterist Hell just by writing this.

Chapter I:

It's a Girl!

Lily and James Potter had always dreamed of having a child one day. They wanted a girl more than anything. Harriet, they would name her. They never thought that they would have a boy, because that was just right out.

One day, Lily brought home news that she was going to have a baby. James was more excited than he had ever been, and asked her right away what sex the baby was going to be.

"They don't know yet," replied Lily.

Lily continued to go to the doctor, and finally, she found out that the baby was going to be a girl. She ran home to James, who was NOW happier than he had ever been in his life.

"Oh! I just knew it would be a girl. There is no way that it could have been anything else. Well, I guess there is, but this is the way it was meant to be," said James to a confused Lily.

"I haven't the slightest clue what you are rambling on about, but I am glad that it is a girl."

Months wore on, and Lily and James became anxious for the arrival of their child. They seemed to think that the time was not passing soon enough. It was as though time were going backwards.


	2. Arrival of Harriet

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Author's Note: I would just like to give credit to a person named Jeremy for the name "Harriet Potter", as he used it on me, Ptrst, in 7th grade.

Chapter II:

The Arrival of Harriet

The day of the arrival of their baby came upon them unexpectedly. It was as though no time had passed at all. Yes, I know I said that time seemed to go backwards, but now that the time had come, it was as though no time had really passed.

I shall not describe the birth, for that is unimportant at this time, and may scar the reader for life. As soon as the baby was out, James and Lily smiled at each other, while she was being cleaned off.

The day they had been awaiting was finally here. They had a baby girl of their own. Someone they could train and someone who would grow to become as great a witch as Lily.

The baby was handed to Lily, and she stared at it with immense satisfaction. James, who was sitting on the corner of the bed, was speechless. All he could do was smile.


	3. Discovering the Truth

Chapter III:

Discovering the Truth

They took the baby home, and pulled out some of the outfits that had been given to them. There was this frilly dress, with pink lace, and another one with blue flowers. They chose the one with blue flowers, and Lily grabbed a diaper. They set to changing the baby, and it wasn't until Lily was fastening the diaper that she realized something wrong.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!" she shouted. James came running into the room, and standing beside her, he asked her what the problem was.

"This baby isn't ours. This is a boy, not a girl," she said removing the diaper.

"Holy crap! They must have given us the wrong one. Let's go back and see."

Lily and James grabbed "Harriet" and jumped in the car.

As they sped to the hospital, Lily couldn't help thinking that it might be possible that the hospital had made a mistake, but not the kind that they had thought of at home. What if this really was their baby and the people at the hospital were wrong about the sex? This was always a possibility, but Lily didn't want to think about that. There had to be a mistake with the baby that they were given. There was no way that this little boy was theirs.


	4. One of Two Solutions, Though They Didn't...

Chapter IV:

One of Two Solutions, Though They Didn't Think of the Other One

They arrived at the hospital faster than James had expected. Jumping out of the car, he went around the other side, and took the baby from Lily. She got out, and looked around to see where James had gone. She saw that he was already at the door.

He stopped at the receptionist area, and as soon as Lily got into the waiting room, she sat down. He told the lady at the desk what they were there for, and she told him to have a seat, and said that the doctor would be right with them.

He joined Lily. Neither of them talked. The baby cried, and Lily did all she could to comfort it, but nothing would work. Maybe this was a sign that this really wasn't her baby. No, it couldn't be.

When the doctor came out and spotted Lily and James, he sat down in a seat next to James, clipboard in his hand.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"This isn't our baby," replied Lily and James at the same time.

"What do you mean?"

"This is a boy. Our baby was a girl. That's what the people told me when I went in for one of my appointments," said Lily, anxious to meet her real baby.

"Well, let me check." The doctor went back into his office and came out with a file folder. Lily and James' names were on the tab. He looked through it, and smiled.

"Not to worry. This is your child. There was a little confusion during that appointment. The doctor that you had was filling in for me, and he was moving from room to room. It makes sense that he might have confused the sex of your child with the sex of another patient's child. I am sorry for the mistake. Is there anything we can do for you?"

Lily and James were completely speechless. How could this be their child?

Finally, Lily spoke: "Is there anyway to make the baby into a girl?"

The doctor looked shocked. No one had ever asked him this before.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, plastic surgery is very popular, and is it safe to try it on a baby?"

"Well, I guess it's safe, but why would you want to change the sex of your child?"

"We have always wanted a girl. We have the stuff for a girl. We planned on having a girl," said James.

"The only thing we can do now is breast implants. I can guarantee you that he will be made fun of as a child in school, if anyone finds out. When he is three years of age, we might be able to do more work on him, but this is all now."

"OKAY!" said Lily and James in unison.

"Let me schedule an appointment. When is good for you to bring him in?"

"Tomorrow."

"The day after."

"Today!"

"I see. Well, let me check and see what I have open. I don't think there is anything that soon, but I will see when I can get him in." The doctor disappeared behind his desk, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

He returned with a sheet of paper in hand.

"I can take you next Tuesday at 10am. How's that?"

"Sound good," said Lily looking at James, who nodded in agreement.


	5. The Other Thing They Could Have Done

Author's Note: An uber-short chapter, I know.

Chapter V:

The Other Thing They Could Have Done, but They Didn't

That Tuesday, Lily and James brought a bouncing baby boy to the hospital and left with one thought in mind: soon, they would have a little girl. This was just the first step. Too bad neither of them thought of just having another baby, because that would have made life so much easier.


	6. The Doctor Returns

Chapter VI:

The Doctor Returns

About a year later, Lord Voldemort, who bared an uncanny resemblance to the doctor, in fact, he was the doctor, showed up at the Potter household, and killed James.

He moved on to torture Lily, all the while shouting things like: "How dare you give a baby breast implants?!?!" or "Why didn't you just have another child?!?!" When he was done torturing her, he killed her, and moved on to Harriet. He didn't want to kill the poor boy, he had only wanted to kill the parents for what they had done to Harriet after he was born, but he looked at him and remembered that the poor child had boobs and a penis. That just wasn't going to work, and the thought made him sick to his stomach.

He raised his wand, and aimed at Harriet's heart. Well, it was a little to the right. As a doctor, he knew that the heart tilted a little to the right, well, if someone was looking at you, your heart would tilt a little to the right, and otherwise, if you were thinking about it, in your mind it would tilt a little to the left. Well, at least he knew what he meant.

Forgetting all about the silicon, he shouted the curse that every wizard fears, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The curse bounced off of Harriet's silicon, and hit Voldemort instead. As Voldemort's spirit was ripped from his body, so was all of this his boob jobs disappeared from their respective bodies. Harriet's silicon boobs were no more, Harriet was no longer a chick, and the evil doings of the doctor/Voldemort no longer existed. It seemed as though his mother's love for Harriet had saved him.


	7. No Boobs, New Name, Crappy Family

Chapter VII:

No Boobs, New Name, Crappy Family

Harriet went to live with the Dursleys, and a letter was given to his aunt and uncle, which explained what his parents had done, and why they had died. The Dursleys hated this. They were grateful, though that Dumbledore had renamed him Harry James Potter (Harry was close to Harriet, James was his father's name, and obviously Potter was already his last name), which was not only the rightful name Harriet deserved, but it would also keep the neighbors from getting suspicious. The Dursleys gave him crap for ten years. They hated him, but he had never known why. Maybe Dumbledore should explain this to Harry before Voldemort (who returned) spreads this to the Daily Prophet. Only he, Dumbledore, and the Dursleys know the truth…


End file.
